So when driving home with two of my best guys friends tonight around midnight, I realized that I really do love hanging out with boys. There is something that I honestly enjoy about just sitting there and watching bromances in front of my eyes. They are just too darn adorable. Its like the joy a lot of people got from watching Damian and Cameron’s bromance on the glee project. There is something that draws your eye to guys that really do care for each other.
I guess tonight I got jealous of of their bromance. I guess I wanted to be there for him one last time. I am going to miss him so much. I know that when I come back for break it will be as if I never left, but for me I guess I have unsolved business, that I wish I didn’t have. I know that deep in my heart I am over him but there will always be that attraction of course. He most defiantly did not have feelings for me the same way I had for him, but you know what live and let learn.
Also I know that our friendship will never be the same because it is honestly my fault he is in the pain he is in now, emotionally that it. Everyone was seeing what I was seeing but no one had the guts to say anything. Of course being the person I am, I care too much for him to fall back on what he has grown so much on, had to say something. I regret it a bit, only because of the current state we are in now, but someone was bound to say something sooner or later, maybe it should have been his bromance and not me. I think he honestly believes it was for my own benefit, which if it was I would have done something by now.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I learned my lesson, I need to stop trying to fix the problems and just listen. If someone believes they are happy, let them be happy, as a good friend I should have just supported him and let him learn his own lessons. Isn’t that what I’m asking my mom to let me do, finally let me learn my own lessons, not tell me what the outcome is and prevent me from trying something and failing.
Well I do apologize and I am here to listen. It will however cost for my 2 cents.